~How to deal with a stepmom~

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Yep, I’m officially giving lessons on HOW TO DEAL WITH YOUR STEPMOM. I have every right to give advice and tips when it comes to this issue because I have had so many stepmoms in the past that I’ve completely lost track of them. Not only that, I have a stepsister, four half-siblings, AND a stepdad as well. The whole shebang. 

What you need to know about me is I left home after graduating from college because I cannot bear to live with my stepmom any longer. I thought if I continued living with her I would either go insane or start contemplating murder. She has the longest record of being my stepmom, btw, so I guess she’s really staying for good. The fact that she’s pregnant with her SECOND child to my dad pretty much proves that she’s THE ONE. Not that having a baby ever stopped my dad from leaving women like they’re some sort of dirty laundry. Don’t get me wrong, I love my dad. No, REALLY. 😀

Moving on, I think this stepmom, well let’s call her A, has been in my family for like 5 or 6 years now. We got along fine at first, like every other stepmom I’ve had. But, of course, there was this huge fight a.k.a. “THE Cold War”, that caused a huge rift between us.

So I went home last weekend to visit my family and friends. I dunno when it started but I guess I’m more matured and I’ve learned a lot through these years – after dealing with all those stepmoms before. So here it goes, I can only share three tips and I’m not sure if it works for everyone. Every stepmom is unique in their own way. 😀

1. Pretend you didn’t or you haven’t.

~ My stepmom is an arrogant bitch. Yes, she is. She likes bragging about what she has right now – the car, the house, the iPhone, the furniture, the various experiences traveling abroad, and all those meaningless, material stuff. At first, I was jealous, of course. I was like, “that should’ve been OURS – that should’ve been US”. But, no use crying over spilled coffee (I like coffee more, okay!).

We went to a grocery store and she was so excited in telling me about this ‘new’ instant coffee that she tried and she was like, ‘Have you tried this yet?” I didn’t really wanna burst her bubble coz she seemed so intent in rubbing it in my face that I haven’t had the luxury of drinking that particular coffee. So, I said to myself, SO BE IT. I was like, “Nope. Is it good?” so she bought it for me. I couldn’t even count how many times I’ve had that coffee and I personally didn’t think it was that good. But, yeah, I had to pretend that I KINDA LIKED IT.

We saw some Korean ice cream and she knew how I’m into Korean stuff, so she was like “You have to try this Melon Bar ice cream! It’s from Korea!” So she asked me the MAGIC QUESTION again, “Have you tried it before?” and, of course, I said ‘Nope’, so she bought two for me. End of story.

My point here is, life gets easier if you will just pretend that you like this and that. As long as it’s something as harmless as coffee and ice cream. PLUS, we don’t really have anything to talk about when it’s just the two of us so that’s a great conversation topic.

2. Keep your distance.

~ As much as possible, I don’t really like being around my stepmoms. I feel uncomfortable and awkward. It feels like being in the company of my first boyfriend’s gangster-like friends. They were all looking at me and judging me with those scary stares. Plus, stepmom A has this way of making me feel like I don’t belong in THEIR HOUSE. Yes, it’s THEIRS so I have no right to act like I’m a part of that little family in that wonderful house. Whatever. What I do is I just play or chat with my stepsister and my half-sister. Yep, my stepmom brought along her own daughter from another guy so I have a stepsister and a half-sister. They’re still young so they’re NOT YET ‘Cinderella evil stepsisters’ level. >:) I just hang out with them, watch TV or stay in THEIR bedroom as a visitor. That way I can avoid any sort of conversation or interaction with my stepmom. Sometimes I watch TV with the whole family. It’s actually fun because my stepmom usually makes stupid remarks and lame jokes. The lights are on, but nobody’s home. So it is quite amusing. XD

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3. Treat her to something (Or buy something for her).

~ I like treating my siblings (even my stepsister and half-sister) whenever I see them. No matter how small or cheap it is, I like showing off that I’m earning my OWN money now and I don’t rely on my dad anymore. I have this uncertain feeling that stepmom A is too aloof and cheeseparing when it comes to me because she knew what a threat I am. Or I was…? I’m not sure. It’s just that, I’m the only girl – before stepmom A and her daughters came along – and my dad had always been lax with me. I’m the only one he’d listen to and the only one who could ask money from him LIKE A BOSS. 😀 So whenever I get the chance, I try to show stepmom A that I HAVE MY OWN MONEY.

Even though it’s against my will to spend a single cent on them, I have to buy things and food for my stepmom and my sisters. Of course, I feel good seeing the smiles on their faces but I don’t think my stepmom is too happy about it. I honestly think she’s not happy that I’m not groveling before her for money. So, as much as possible, show her that you are happy and contented with your life. If you can, make her feel that you are better off living away from them. Which, in all truthfulness, is how I’m feeling right now.

I used to think that it was unfair that I had to fend for myself and live on my own while they are living the luxurious life that my father worked hard for. But, now that I think about it, I’m not sure I want THAT kind of life. I would rather live in a distant city and enjoy my life than be confined to that house with all the awkwardness, tension and unspoken rules. I feel bad for my youngest brother who still lives with them. 😦

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t hate my stepmom. I think the fact that I’ve matured and I’ve escaped that “angsty and bitter Cinderella” mode, made me look at things in a wider perspective. If I’m still living with them right now, I bet I would despise her so much. But now that I’m thousands of miles away from her, I’ve learned to move on and just let go.

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That doesn’t mean I’m CINDERELLA no more, though. I’m still Cinderella but I’m Cinderella with an attitude. >:D 

photo source: favim.com 

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14 comments

  1. meron · June 26, 2013

    don’t let her to tell u that you are bicth

    • jade · September 4, 2016

      Omg… My stepmom called me a bitch and that was a whole other level.

  2. Mckaynee Jane Powell · October 30, 2013

    My Eveil step mom Stephanie sue powell won’t let me move out with my boyfriend Jesse waytt Woodard he is 19 like I am what I should do she is being a bitch to me and my boyfriend Jesse Wyatt Woodard by McKaynee 406-309-4376 call me if you people have any questions just call me or leave me a voice mail ok thanks mjp

    • Jani · January 27

      What the fuck 19 is a legal adult age you can do whatever you want but it sounds incredibly stupid to move in with your boyfriend at 19 get a job and get your own place

  3. nora · November 21, 2013

    kill the bitch.

  4. Alex · November 15, 2014

    Jip my stepmother is a damn demon and only cares for money and fame, sometimes I feel like I could bash her fake face in… but this isn’t gta so it wont be happening.

  5. anonymous · June 8, 2015

    I was mid freaking out throughout the whole time I was reading this, because your family is just like yours, kind of. My step mom brought her daughter from another man, had a baby with my dad, and is now living with my actual biological brother and I. She pisses me off so much because I hate the fact that she dared to randomly come into my life without warning, and dared to live in my ACTUAL MOTHER’S HOUSE that was still under her name with all the furniture and crap that she chose out, and is so rude towards me. She even somehow brought my father against me, and he now hates me. She came into my life (and my father’s) 2 years ago, that explains why I’m so pissed off at her for locking herself into place in my house. (by locking herself into place, I mean that she dared to have a baby with my dad a year after they barely met, and now she’s stuck with me forever. She’s like the “guest” that never left lol.) But the baby is cute and calm, and I love her, so I mean there’s a bright side to this lol, and my actual mother is slowly bringing herself up. From volunteering to leave my house without anything, to affording to get an apartment for us, to now moving for our new house. She inspires me to keep going, and I just love my mom. ^___^ Which also probably explains why I still dislike my stepmom omfg.

  6. safu · June 30, 2015

    i seriously wanna kill my step mom…n these tips wont work on her..duh! my dad wont leave her anyway!

  7. Hannah Ray · August 16, 2015

    My stepmom is a bitch. She yells at my dad when I get something new, like an action figured I payed for, but buys her ass of a son new games once a week. He doesn’t have to eat his food at dinner but me and my sister have too. She also says that since I’m a girl, I shouldn’t be a gamer, like book bags more than purses, hate wearing makeup and dresses, and I shouldn’t have action figures and comics. She says I should cook and clean all day. Your step mom sounds kinda like mine though, but hey, at least yours didn’t throw away your new phone like mine did. At least the nice garage man found it and gave it back to me. 🙂

  8. Dec · May 27, 2016

    I swear on god I really wanna kill my stepmom. They way she yelled on me it’s like her voice will blast my ear. Before she was quit okay but now after getting her own cellphone she is becoming evil. I think her sister may gives her a bad vibe on me. Fuck her sister.

  9. Ava · January 12

    Hi. Mind is like that too. I hate her! She locked me outside today. I was sitting outside then I saw the curtains close. I saw her. I knew from the windows she saw me and she closed the curtains and locked the fucking door. That fuckign bitch. I’m scared to go inside. They’ll make a big deal and cause drama about it. She’ll say oh I didn’t know unwerw there with that devil smile. She’s been in my life for a few years and I still can’t get used to her. I wish I could die or move away right this second. I wish I had a portal I could walk through and escape to my friends house or another city. High school sucks and it’s worse because she’s there! Help

  10. Cassandra · January 27

    You don’t need to get married to be independent unless you live in a shitty unfair misogynistic country and if that’s the case I’m so sorry for wha you’re going through, a step mom doesn’t sound like your biggest issue.

  11. matthew · February 1

    my step mom is a total bitch some times i just want to choke her to death with my belt

  12. Brah · February 20

    i really want to hurt my stepmom cause she is a bitch

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