Depression.

I’ve always thought the only thing that could make me cry for no reason is a broken heart.

Apparently, I was wrong.

Thought I’ve been through a lot.

Thought I’ve been through the worst and most difficult time of my life.

I’m not a positive person.

I’m really not.

I’m not all sunshine and rainbows.

Can’t say I’m pessimistic either.

I feel like I’m halfway between optimistic and pessimistic.

Then it happened.

One wrong decision.

It all came crumbling down.

Crash and burn.

My heart feels heavy.

I’m watching comedy, but I don’t find anything funny.

I laugh without humor.

Tears start to well in my eyes… threatening to fall down.

To the outside world, I show a different me.

A relaxed, worry-free and composed me.

To the four corners of my bedroom, I take off the mask.

I let the silent tears come.

I sit in the dark, staring at nothing.

I wipe away the hot tears but they keep on coming.

I self-diagnose.

I search the web for answers.

What’s wrong with me?

Why do I feel this way?

What is this emptiness?

Why am I hopeless?

I’ve never felt this way before.

How do I stop this?

How do I become happy again?

Why do I feel like nothing in my life is going right?

Everything has just gone horribly wrong.

Why do I feel alone?

How did I become like this?

Is this depression?

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s