I’ve always thought the only thing that could make me cry for no reason is a broken heart.
Apparently, I was wrong.
Thought I’ve been through a lot.
Thought I’ve been through the worst and most difficult time of my life.
I’m not a positive person.
I’m really not.
I’m not all sunshine and rainbows.
Can’t say I’m pessimistic either.
I feel like I’m halfway between optimistic and pessimistic.
Then it happened.
One wrong decision.
It all came crumbling down.
Crash and burn.
My heart feels heavy.
I’m watching comedy, but I don’t find anything funny.
I laugh without humor.
Tears start to well in my eyes… threatening to fall down.
To the outside world, I show a different me.
A relaxed, worry-free and composed me.
To the four corners of my bedroom, I take off the mask.
I let the silent tears come.
I sit in the dark, staring at nothing.
I wipe away the hot tears but they keep on coming.
I search the web for answers.
What’s wrong with me?
Why do I feel this way?
What is this emptiness?
Why am I hopeless?
I’ve never felt this way before.
How do I stop this?
How do I become happy again?
Why do I feel like nothing in my life is going right?
Everything has just gone horribly wrong.
Why do I feel alone?
How did I become like this?
Is this depression?