What’s with all the “shaming”?

Body-shaming. Mom-shaming. Smart-shaming. Slut-shaming. Seriously. What’s with all these “shaming”? Yes, I need to lose some weight around my belly area. Yes, some moms need to feed their children better and healthier food. Yes, some people show off their intelligence too much. Yes, some women need to dress more appropriately and less slutty. But, and I quote DJ Chris Tsuper, “If you have nothing nice to say or if what you’re gonna say is mean, rude, nasty or demeaning, then why not just keep your unsolicited opinion to yourself?”

So I was listening to that “Tambalan” radio program this morning and they were talking about “mom-shaming”. A mother proudly posted a picture of the lunchbox that she prepared for her kid on social media. I’m not entirely sure what was in it coz my attention was divided, but it was something that was “frowned upon” by most health freak moms. Let’s say it has sausages, ham, cupcake, cookies and other processed food or sugary snacks. Of course, some of her so-called friends commented about how unhealthy it was. Some even going so far as giving her a lecture about the bad effects of such food on her kid’s health. Instead of getting praised for her effort in preparing something for her kid, she gets “mom-shamed”.

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I have experienced a similar thing. I recently traveled somewhere and of course, like all of my previous trips, I had to do a jump shot at some point. It’s a must. Unfortunately, I was wearing a crop top and it was extremely windy then. My shirt kept on getting blown up by the wind, therefore revealing my “flabs” around the belly. So I posted a picture of that jump shot on Facebook, thinking there was nothing wrong with my belly fat. I mean, it was not a pretty sight, sure, but it wasn’t THAT bad. Besides, the whole point of the picture was to show the beautiful wind mills behind me. Two of my (brutally) honest friends posted comments saying something about my belly. It was nothing mean or bad and I’m sure they didn’t mean anything by it. But I was suddenly self-conscious about it. I kept on looking at that picture, particularly the belly area, and I suddenly saw how ugly and distracting it was. That’s when I was suddenly reminded of all the body-shaming posts and articles I’ve been reading online. And it’s not just about calling someone “fat” or “chubby, if you call someone too thin or too skinny, that constitutes as body-shaming too.

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^ Me and my flabs

I don’t claim to be an expert on social media. I’ve been using it for years but I still don’t completely get it. I still have so many questions. Why do we care about the number of likes, followers and comments? Why are some pictures more “instagram-able” than others? Why do we care so much about celebrities’ lives and get updates from them as if our lives depended on it? Why do we post pictures and express our thoughts on social media and then later regret it?

But the more important question is: why do we have to be so mean to each other?

So what if this one mother feeds her child lots of sugary food? It’s her child. She can do whatever she wants and raise him however way she wants. So what if I have love handles and muffin top? I am well aware of it. I am not proud of it. And believe me, I am trying my best to get rid of it. So what if someone keeps on talking about facts and other smart-sounding stuff? You should be thankful that he/she is sharing something useful with you, instead of sordid rumors and nonsensical gossip. At least that person is not a know-it-all, there’s a big difference. I know someone who is an INSUFFERABLE know-it-all and believe me, it drove me nuts. So what if someone keeps on dressing up in sexy (bordering on slutty) outfits? If she’s got it, then she can flaunt it. You cannot tell her what to wear and what not to wear. You do not own her.

Looking at it on another perspective, yes, people should be responsible for what they post on social media. If you post a picture of yourself in a two-piece bikini, then get ready to read both good and bad comments. But does an innocent picture of a mom’s special lunchbox for her child elicit harsh and nasty comments? Does a picture of a #confidentlybeautiful plus-sized woman wearing a cute crop top need to be bashed and showered with degrading remarks?

Sure. Everyone’s entitled to their own opinion. But everyone’s entitled not to hear those unwanted opinions too.

I’m not gonna wash my hands clean. I do have mean and nasty comments about some of the things and pictures that my friends post on social media. I have a lot of those. But they either stay in my head or within the four walls of my room. Or if I can’t help it, I tell my close friends about it. I don’t mindlessly type comments here and there. If I did that, I would be in a lot of trouble.

What I’m getting at here is, I wish people would stop being mental bulimics. I wish we could all stop and think for a second before shaming other people. Nobody is born perfect. Of course, you could just keep on posting pictures and ignore the comments. It’s up to you. You don’t really need to care about what other people will say. For me, it all comes down to respect. We don’t need to be nice to each other all the time (I do admit that sometimes some people are just asking for it). But we can show some respect to each other, can’t we? At the end of the day, we’re all just victims of the crazy world of social media.

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Credit to whoever made those wonderful memes. I love you all.

~Hollow-fied~

“It’s exhilarating, Abbey. You exhilarate me” ~ Caspian, The Haunted

Ever since the Harry Potter series ended, I’ve never been attached to any book trilogies or series. Well, I THOUGHT I’d never get hooked again. But then there’s Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl’s fantastic trilogy, Beautiful CreaturesBeautiful Darkness– ??? Yeah, I dunno the third book’s title yet. ^^ I loved it from start to finish and I just can’t hardly wait for the third installment.

So I started reading Jessica Verday’s THE HOLLOW. Then went on to read THE HAUNTED. It took me about two and a half months to finish them. And I can say it was well worth my time.  I don’t really plan on making a long-ass review here. I just want to share my thoughts about these wonderful reads.

I liked The Hollow due to the simple fact that it was refreshing and unique as compared to the current craze over sparkling vampires with bad attitudes or hot-tempered fallen angels. There are no werewolves or wizards here either. Just a simple dead boy who is haunting the haunted village of Sleepy Hollow. 😀

From the start, Caspian had been nothing but nice, sweet, kind and a true gentleman. Although he has his ‘moments of teenage angst‘, he never showed it to Abbey. I think my problem with the first book was Abbey’s ‘pity-me-my-bff-died-its-all-my-fault-i-shouldn’t-be-happy-i-should-forever-be-emo’ attitude. With the first few chapters it was okay. Tolerable, to say the least. But as I read more of her outbursts and crazy wild emo moments, I got more and more irked. Okay, I know how she feels. I lost someone too. Been there done that. But it was just… I dunno… sometimes it feels like she’s being TOO emotional and she’s overreacting.

Anyway, although there were lots of loopholes and WTF moments in The Hollow, especially when my suspicions about Caspian were right, some of them were thoroughly explained in the second book– The Haunted.

I still don’t get Nikolas and Katy though. I KNOW. They’re Shades or whatever, but their connection to the legend of Sleepy Hollow is just– WTF. ~__~

The things that didn’t make sense in The Hollow were finally explained in The Haunted which made it a compelling read. With every page I  get awed by Caspian’s sweetness and I get enlightened by the revelations. ^^

What set Caspian apart from the other ‘lead guys’ in fiction novels is the fact that he’s just a boy. Who died, yeah. But his being separated from his physical body didn’t stop his heart from beating. It didn’t stop him from falling in love with Abbey. And that makes it more interesting and special.

He has his flaws, yes, but that’s what makes him more gorgeous. He’s NOT perfect. It’s just like having a normal teenage boy as your  boyfriend. Only he’s dead. XD But I think he’s so much better than most kids his age who are ill-mannered, bad-tempered and who thinks of nothing but doing ‘THAT’.

Another thing about The Haunted is that it stands well alone. I think even if I wasn’t able to read book one, I won’t be lost upon reading this. All the important facts and events in book one were recalled and well expounded in book two. Although the author might’ve missed a few issues here and there –like what the hell is Nikolas and Katy REALLY??? Or what is Ben supposed to be– the dead bff’s secret admirer, the unofficial other guy or just Abbey’s friend? Why was Caspian chosen as a shade? Or rather, how did he become a shade?

I dunno. I don’t really nitpick when it comes to the books I read. Unless there’s really A LOT to nitpick on. XD I try to put myself in the author’s shoes, being a writer myself… ^^

Anyway, although I sympathize a little with Ben– the unofficial other guy– I still love Caspian to death. Okay, no PUN intended. XP He’s just the best dead boyfriend ever.  He understands Abbey’s shortcomings and unreasonable emotional outbursts and he really cherishes her so much. I mean, let’s face it. The way I imagined Abbey, she’s not THAT pretty. I bet she’s more on the average-looking side. Not the head-turner type. I really like how deep and passionate their love for each other is despite their young age.

I still don’t get how this story’s gonna end though… ^_^;; I mean, okay, so Vincent Drake doesn’t want Abbey to die coz he doesn’t want her and Caspian to be ‘whole/complete’– but WHY??? And what’s up with those creepy revenants anyway? Why should the living half die as well…? Are they really trying to help?  Can’t the living half and dead half be together as it is? *sighs* I need the third book NAO! >_<

AND can I just say that IF EVER there is  a movie adaptation, this person should TOTALLY be Caspian. 😀

Tom to tom tom ~ Tom tom ~~~

 

Today is so NOT my day -.-

Excuse my Ilocano-English-Korean. AY APO THIS UBING TALAGA! Anyamet this kid. 어이쿠… 이런 자식!!! I can’t even…!!! ~__~

*sighs*

Just finished teaching English to this 9-year-old Taiwanese kid who obviously thinks he’s so much better than everyone else. >_< He is usually okay– not really a good follower or student but he is “tolerable”. But TODAY he was just so fucking annoying, irritating, irking and I just can’t even think of anything other -ing word!!! >_<

He was not listening, he was not reading, he didn’t response –well, he did sometimes but it’d take him like FOREVER to do so– and he was very impolite. The problem really lies with the parents here. WHY THE HECK would you force your YOUNG KID to study English with foreigners– strangers — people they barely know— people they don’t even get to see — for like TWO FREAKING HOURS STRAIGHT???  Even I would get bored and sleepy and annoyed. DAMMIT. ~_~ Yes, it’s necessary, I know that. I know how important education is blah blah blah. But WTF, this kid was obviously pissed off at me and I was just doing my freaking job. T_T Why oh why?

And then this morning… one of my co-teachers were absent. So I substituted for her class. My dumb supervisor gave me a substitute class right before my ‘marathon’ class (straight classes, no breaks, not even a minute ^^) which means I have to make sure that I call on time so that I won’t be late in other classes. So in my confusion and hurry, I dialed the wrong number… NOT ONCE BUT TWICE. >_< GDI. That’s a serious violation in my company. ~__~ So I kinda wondered why a guy answered the call and insisted that he ‘doesn’t speak English’ –when he was clearly SPEAKING IN ENGLISH… -.- IDEK. Anyway. It’s one thin to get the number wrong ONCE… but TWICE? DEMMIT. I received a freakin’ memo for that. T_T

Foggy Baguio... it's been a WEEK! -.-

Prior to that… the RAIN pissed me off big time. It’s been raining nonstop in my city for like more than a week now due to this stupid typhoon that won’t go away… But lately the sun’s been shining and the fog was gone this morning… BUT just when I was about to buy some food this morning– there was a HEAVY downpour which soaked the lower part of my pants and my shoes. -.- THEN, when I took shelter for a while at the store, it turned to a slight drizzle…

Rain rain go away~~~ GTFA!!!

However, the moment I stepped out and made my way back to the office, it started raining heavily again! It was like, the rain was PURPOSELY trying to get on my nerves!!! I swear! >_<

The ONLY thing that made me happy today was the fact that I got my salary today. That’s it. FML!!!

My own four-leaf clover... yum!

Oh and I found this “lucky” heart-shaped CORNFLAKES while munching on my box of cornflakes. XD It was supposed to be my four-leaf clover! >_< But it’s cute anyway…